Joker

you think I'm crazy-
have you gotten a load of Gotham lately?
if you ask me, all this
Law and Order jazz
is positively-
batty!
Ha HA!

let me tell you something-
one roller coaster ride
will make the best man mad
i'll show ya- anyone can lose it
it's so easy, just a little push
off a high roof
with no bathooks to save you
and you're teetering wildly down the spiral
whoospys-

aw don't take it so hard
why bother with reality?
it's so much more fun to create your own universe!

if I must have a past,
I prefer multiple choice-
maybe a bullet hood painting the world red
a chemical spill
a painted grin
tainted lipstick smear
stitchmouth-

the grin carved on my face
by a pack of roving gypsys
NO! my daddy cut it in a fit of rage
NO! i carved it myself
maybe there are no scars at all-
maybe I just have a positive, healthy outlook on life!

my bad daddy,
my lost wife,
my childhood boneyard-
can't you see it's all one big joke?

i been dead once or twice-
hell, I'm dying all the time!
shot, crushed, dropped off cliffs, exploded
I always rise from the ashes, shake out the bullets,
apply a fresh coat of paint

don't know how many i've killed
it's not personal
i don't keep count
but it's nice to know you are!

why do i do it?
why,
I do it
because it's fun!

you know, the simple pleasures-
a flash toy, a joyknife, a smilegas!
the twist of the blade that makes their eyes roll-
i love the feel of chemicals corroding my bone white fingertips,
the smell of burning flesh-

I'm a whiz at putting gadgets together
wonderful toys, long guns that go BANG!, a bomb-in-the-box, poison balloons,
copyrighted smiley fish, the Jokermobile, snap gas fingers, exploding birthday cakes,
funhouse mirrors, the classic pie-in-the-face
ten gallon drums of gasoline, sticks of dynamite,
and my very own trademark Smilex Gas!
wrap it up with a bow,
my present to the citzens of Gotham!

it's not about the money-
everything burns!
it's my side of the spiral,
it all burns, everything burns,
and when the chips are down,
those dogs will eat each other.
did they think they were gonna live forever?
at least they can go out with a smile on their faces!

Oh-
make em laugh!
make em laugh!
it's a gas!
it's a blast!
it's a bat-

old batty?
yeesh, don't get me started on that nit-
the truth is is, I don't know what I'd do without him-
I love the way he throws me up against a wall
ooh, gets me all tingly-
and you know, he's the only one who really gets my jokes.
I just wish he wouldn't always go spoiling my fun!

he really should just kill me, you know,
but he can't!
it's so precious-
I think he really cares!

you think I mind my little stints in Arkham?
they love me here!
it gives me a chance to relax,
meet some new people,
plan a new scheme-
but I gotta say, I hate these drab uniforms,
say, couldn't we get some color in here? maybe a nice purple?
could I at least get a little lipstick?
Beauty like mine shouldnt be kept under glass-
my albino skin glows under florescent bulbs
I shake white gloved fingers down thru green tangles
a beautiful mess
draped in purple velvet
and strapped with colorful bombs-

it's all a big joke
and i am always smiling
and why shouldn't i?

i have so many wonderful friends
in so many wonderful, tiny little pieces
in so many high places!
i don't know what it is-
they're just drawn to me
it must be my sparkling personality

they'll do anything i tell them to
because they know

I rule this city

I am the Lord of Chaos
the Clown Prince of Theives
arsonist, anarchist, toppin the Most Wanted List
a homicidal artist, Gotham's finest!
see, I shake up people's boring little lives-
it's a blast!
I always leave em with a grin
I love to hear them scream
almost as much as I love to hear myself laugh.
HA HA ha HA
ha Ha HA hA HA
Ha HA HA HA