bad memories - here now

to Carl:

bad memories invade
shadow swarm trancd
in hos pit bll
alone on floor
wood wigg me in...

HERE NOW
we collide mid sky
rough spaceship edges hit ribs scrapin sky in
sidewalk cracks
warm whiskey
leak typewriter keys
yr slurrlaff hittin
shiv my gut.

to Joe:

bad memories top me
back to splintersplit floor
small me & choke me
grinshadowide
i fight
bodyful
reach summerlit
grind saltbones
to bloodmouth.

HERE NOW sunburns hands
dirt moist in bare
pours above sidewalks
streetlite warmd to glass
stumble you float me

to Jess:


Bad Memories lock torn down door
push back
brainfolds lectrick forklick
pull air in hard take
off skin & stand in free way
push harder
thru rustveins

.here now knees glint sidewalk shards
& we are laughing in the shadows
of stond giants pissin in the cracks
cuz this city is ours
outlaw pussies!

to Stephen:


bad memories smoke thru bone hollows flash eye lectric handbone facebone body shrunk back small pushing full body back crush soft stone chest cavaty

HERE NOW bang glass fish to train teleport summ voice wind lines basslake backporch whiskey beach yards cut grass machines transmit breath for us.

*

graffitti i dig

feeble me

a nervous ghost
followed everywhere
you tear my skin, brick by brick
the dog will not stop barking at me
im no mario champion
i know how to fill my lungs
i pace the room,
the drying bottles
i think about money,
i think about mistakes
two bottles cheap whiskey
and ancient cartoons
carved stone walls
halfface fistfite
"we're not making this up just so we can take over the world"
i'm dirty pants, stain a stranger
deep draughts in rumbling wagons
a grin for a green apple tossed in lap
o happy cementface
you lift me
i carry the case
in the summer, for the free, for the caught,
and drink drink drink
on the roof, in the howl, the good square in the morning
paintfingers, the itch,
back against
the floorboards.
knownothing, quiet me.
i'm just floating here so you can't catch me.
you don't know
i'll pretend to be empty
so smug
with your shadow keeper
you mock my armour
but i am weak within it
i am dirty, broken lung, bad teeth & proud
but don't you know when i lie
the fox is chewing my gut.

no lektrik savior

withoutwithin no lektrik save yr sheets bloodtounguedumb to hang care o ghosts sidewalk swallow mee slaughterd stormribbones squareburn broke daze drunk to lyin low forget the song roaches crawl over me in sleep i wake cussin to beer mournin summer, lyin lone. we coulda been brothers but i gotta gamblin problem.

collab phone poem featuring stephen dvorak

a limbless boy speeds past me to the train-
dead flesh heavy in my stomache-
rain blacks the street-

in the naked light, you are there
like a dog wating for butter under the table
loud licking chops
dashing at my knees, keys-

We were what we said,
what we saw in the movies
our hands graceless
iced & wooden
my hand disappears
just beyond the lightpost

broken glass at my feet
the scuff & scrape of a shoe
rotten cherries stuck in the ridges, following-
im going out for water
these walls are tomb dry
these walls make a violent sound
milk bleeds out of them

*

CTA

Blue Line SE Harlem - Logan late evening
rucksack slung with snow shoes
as big as the tanglehaired boy behind it
reachin dirty fingers into seedbag
silent deep in his face don't hear me
but laughs silent & big when an apple
is tossed in his lap as the door opens.

Red Line S Loop-95th early evening
her mother, small brother sleep
as the girl tears silently
& watches me eat mcdonalds
that sticks in my throat.

Blue Line NW Loop-Logan late nite
the blood is flowing from his cut hand
i fumble drunkenly over spanish, doctora, medicina, comprende?
as i bind it with my green kerchief.

#82 N Homan-Wrightwood late evening
praying mantis perched on shoulder, the worn man asks the kid
if he wants it, "no? sure? okay- be good!"

Blue Line NW Loop - Logan late nite
he's picking his feet, his woman passed out beside him,
he says "what? my feet are messed up?"
"hey man, if your feet are messed up your feet are messed up, what you gonna do?"
"they got....cracked and....pus....all scabbed over....just got out of prison....since i was 15...killed the man who killed my father. I mean, what I'm gonna do, go to the cops...grew up on the west side..."
"shit man, can't judge, if someone killed my dad-"
"you a damn drunk!...yes you are, drinkin on public transit, you a drunk..."
across from me, i hear the man in the batman skullcap rattle his string of NA keychains...
"...see, that's what I'm sayin, people ridin the train, no one ever talks to each other, it's like..."
"well, here's my stop-"
"alrite, you have a nice one, & don't drink too much!"
"I wont...I mean, I probably will, but you know..."

futurespeak?

he bends his burlap back

whispering into the tarmac crack

grow, grow

"i hear there is still power north of here"

"trade generator, need generator, power, get power, yo quiere generator, power power, light, comprende? understand?"

"you speak?"

"small

"any trade?"

"trade seed"

"what seed?"

"baccy, maters, flower, green happy weed, taters, onion, ummm orange food, many foods, you english speak only, espanol any? francais?"

"english small, espanol pequenito?, i take food seed only, easy care, wat trade?"

"tu tienes? what have?"

"tools. must travel, short travel, walk small, comprende?"

"no comprende tools"

umm.. build, make things, make house, fix house, hammer, nails, saw, shovel-"

"shovel good?"

"good shovel, small for hand, large, I need keep one, trade for seed, how many?

"one big, like this, for small shovel"

"this no big, make more big, like this, then okay small shovel"

okay I make like this, okay?"

"no, no, bigger, you see. be good, I have knife."

"you no need, I go, peace, we trade."

long walk

beneath abandoned ferris wheel

teeth rotten, plier-pulled

an ancient gathering place,

battle ground

the paint is peeling

a solitary eye

painted on concrete

passed by many seeking food, not paint,

a steady pulse

myths choked out by vines twistin

the concrete cracking...